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Flower Shadow


a transmission and actiation

for all true beings


my transmissions are meant to be felt. They are an invitation for direct experience, not designed for cognitive comprehension.


focus on the feelings, not the words.


I had always craved Motherlove.

It was not not something I knew as a daughter, having arrived through a long lineage of Shadow Mothers, heart-starved women who feast upon their children, corrupting and reversing the natural flow & law of motherhood, of life.

It was not something I knew as a human body, having arrived into a culture of Blood Eaters, life-starved separatists who feast upon the animal children, inverting and diverting the natural flow & law of freedom, of life.

This consumptive addiction to fracturing families and causing corpses - both the living corpses and the dead ones - was built into the very blueprint of my relatives, the very coding of my society.

But I could only suppress the feeling of wrongness for so long.

Through veganism I started to remember right relation with the Mother, no longer stealing from any mother her milk, eggs, children, or life. No longer subconsciously punishing the Mother for what my mother had stolen from me. 

Through motherhood I started to experience true sensation of Motherlove - the holy electricity of the collective and connective feminine Heart, a limitless well and well-ness ease-fully given to my children in the natural flow & law of motherhood, of life. 

Through these initiations and integrations I began to more deeply gnow and live the divine mystery of Motherlove through her many mythic faces and names.

But then my son died.

With no Motherlove available to me from the outside in, and nowhere for my Motherlove to go from the inside out, I felt once again lost to the feminine flow, form, and feel I was both accustomed to and still craving as an externalized experience.

The hollowing and hallowing of my Heart awakened the innate intelligence of internalized Motherlove, which began to pulse a new channel through me. Rearranging and rewiring my physical, psychic, and soul organisms, an entirely new form and formation of self was created, capable of holding and housing a retrained Heart portal now as a new inner circuit, circle, and completion with and of myself.

I became a whole Mother. A holy Mother. A Motherlove generated in and through my Heart, returning back towards myself, no longer outsourcing daughterhood to another human or deity, and no longer taking motherhood from another body or blood.


I became the creator and giftor and receiver of my own original, organic Motherlove.

Learning to properly recalibrate and then circulate Motherlove is a primordial technology we all hold, regardless of gender or the external experiences or lacks of our own mother or children. Any true being can reverse the reversal, can retrain a self-generating closed loop system of self and sacred love. All that is required is right relationship to Mother and Heart

Through our choices in thoughts, emotions, and actions we can access the inherent and organic balm for the motherwound, which is our own Motherlove.

Happy Motherlove Day to the holy Mother within you.

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